


The Gay Agenda™

by teaandfuzzysocks



Category: Day6 (Band), EXO (Band), GOT7, History (Band), Monsta X (Band), NCT (Band), NU'EST, SEVENTEEN (Band), SHINee, Stray Kids (Band), Super Junior, Wanna One (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Crack, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Game Shows, M/M, im gonna add more tags later lol, this is a whole monster of a fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-02 05:09:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16298732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teaandfuzzysocks/pseuds/teaandfuzzysocks
Summary: Our eager contestants here are going to attempt to test how fragile sexuality can be! Each contestant will have to find a man, whom they have never met before, and flirt, with the ultimate goal of scoring a date! Our judges will then rate their performance on a scale of 1-10, based on criteria such as smoothness, suaveness, subtlety and a lot of other words starting with 's' (he winks again, and the audience laughs at what he is insinuating).OR: The ultimate gay game show that is a monster multi-fandom mess, with appearances from all our favorite Iconic Gays.





	1. The Gay Agenda

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this](https://twitter.com/mattswaggster/status/1047138762168442880) and a conversation with Kit, that kinda got outta control lol. 
> 
> (Edit: how could I forget, also inspired by [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4mmfzFazoI) and basically any other instance of men falling in love with jimin)
> 
> Sentences written in Italic is what is being said by the panel, or people in the studio. Normal text is what is happening otherwise.
> 
> (Also I obviously don't have The Gay Agenda trademarked so pls nobody sue me thx)

(If anyone had any doubts, by the time the opening sequence was over, they would be rid of them. There was no denying this show was, for lack of a better phrase, the gayest show ever. The enormous logo was written in a curly cursive, exploded with every single color you could imagine and adorned with waaaay too much fucking glitter. To begin the show, the camera panned over 11 people sitting in a half-moon, panel like set up, before zooming in and settling on the host.)

_“Hello and welcome to The Gay Agenda!! I’m your host Holland, nice to meet you!_

_As always, our panelists:_ (The camera swipes over them one by one, as they are being introduced.)

 _Heechul, coming at you with the strong opinions; Kibum, our sass-master extraordinaire_ (The way Kibum rolled his eyes as the camera panned to him was enough explanation as to his introduction anyone would need really.); _our very own sunshine Taemin and our lovely maknae Daehwi!_

 _Give them a big round of applause everyone!!!”_ (The audience exploded with claps, cheers and excited whoops.)

_“We have some special guest judges here with us tonight as well!_

_First off, we have Kim Seokjin and Kim Namjoon! How are you Seokjin-hyung?”_

_“Ready and very excited to be here! Actually, my brother Tae is one of the contestants on the show. He doesn’t know that I’m going to be here though, so that will be fun when he finds out.”_ (The evil glint in Jin’s eyes makes the entire audience laugh, a true variety show king.)

_“Delightful! Our next special guest couple are Bang Chan and Kim Woojin! They are actually the youngest guest judges we’ve had on the show so far, both ’97 liners! Are you excited?”_

_“Very, yes, thank you for having us, hyung!”_ (The audience cooed at Chan’s politeness and megawatt smile) _“We actually nominated one of our friends, Minho, to be here tonight, because you wouldn’t believe how bad his whining is when he’s single. He’s somewhat of a, for lack of a better word, hoe or what the kids would call ‘a confident gay’, so I think he’ll do pretty well, right Woojin?”_

 _“To be real honest, we’re not leaving here unless he has someone, because I can’t take it one more minute.”_ (Once again, the audience laughs along. Holland is surprised at how natural everyone seems to be on camera.)

_“Last but not least, we have Choi Seungcheol and Yoon Jeonghan!”_

_“Holland, I can already tell that there are some baby panicked gays and some very confident gays here, and I honestly don’t know which I’m more excited about! I am already smitten with Seungkwan and would like to legally adopt him please, Cheol.”_

_“Ok, babe, take it easy. But same as Jeonghan and hyungs said, I’m very excited since there seems to be a big variety here.”_

_“Well, before we begin, for those of you who are tuning in with us for the first time, let me explain our agenda_ (he winks and throws in some finger guns for good measure.) _for the show._

 _Our eager contestants here are going to attempt to test how fragile sexuality can be! Each contestant will have to find a man, whom they have never met before, and flirt, with the ultimate goal of scoring a date! Our judges will then rate their performance on a scale of 1-10, based on criteria such as smoothness, suaveness, subtlety and a lot of other words starting with 's'_ (he winks again, and the audience laughs at what he is insinuating).

 _Our lovely field reporter Jimin will keep up with our contestants and be the go-to source for questions and concerns. He will also lead the small crash course that will happen before our little gay ducklings will be released into the world.”_ (Holland turns towards the fixed panel, to address the panelist for the first time.)

_“So Taemin-hyung, what are you expecting tonight?”_

_“Well I’m obviously very excited.”_

_“Just like every week, a true sunshine!”_ (Audience laughter)

_“I’ve had a few short chats with some of the contestants backstage and there seem to be some really promising people here tonight! Some seemed a little nervous, which is totally understandable, but we’ll have to see how that will pan out in the field.”_

_“Thank you, hyung. Heechul-hyung, what are you thinking?”_

_“Well most of the time our contestants are very unpredictable, so I am very excited to see everyone’s game plans. There seem to be a lot of different personalities and my favorite part is always seeing something totally unexpected, so I’m hoping we’re in for some good surprises tonight!”_

(Kibum chimes in) _“Talking of surprises, I always love to see what someone’s type is, since that isn’t really something you can tell from just looking at them. And of course, the judging, because why would I be here if I didn’t like judging people.”_ (His innocent-seeming shrug made the audience laugh once more.)

_“Of course, to be expected from hyung. Daehwi, any thoughts before we begin?”_

_“Well hyung, I’m actually very excited about the younger contestants we have here today. I’m really happy that younger people, who are around my age have the courage to express themselves and aren’t afraid to be who they want to be so I’m very happy about them being here tonight!”_

_“Well as you can tell, we here in the studio are all super excited to see what our contestants can do! We will be right back to get started after this short break. Don’t go anywhere!”_

(The camera pans out and cuts to commercial.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked that intro and are intrigued lol 
> 
> the next chapters will just be normal in that they will just be one coherent text, this was just to explain the concept of the show and to introduce the people in the studio/whos on the panel. 
> 
> I'm going to try and upload Sundays, but no promises. So far I have about 15 chapters planned out, so its a big one. Every chapter will focus on a ship, why one of them applied to the show and what happens. 
> 
> so yeah wish me luck with that lol 
> 
> also special shout-out to my tumblr peeps [Kit](https://jisungshotfirst.tumblr.com/) (the biggest jisung trash ik, but honestly who isnt) and [Cam](https://justlikefantasy.tumblr.com/) (aka my twin) for helping me with ideas and when i was stuck and beta-ing! Please go check them out! 
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://teacoffeeandwhatnot.tumblr.com/)
> 
> (Next week: Yoonmin)


	2. Yoonmin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looking back, it seemed like a shitty, cheesy, teenage rom-com. It felt like time had slowed down. His breathing stopped when he saw this…this...angel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its Yoonmin time, my dudes. 
> 
> I hope I do your expectations justice!
> 
> Also, please feed me comments, they keep me alive.

To be fair, the flyer had hung in the music department on a bulletin board that explicitly said “Music Work Opportunities” over it. To be even more fair though, Yoongi hadn’t really read the flyer properly. He saw the word competition and immediately assumed it was for writing and producing.

He promptly wrote his application, adding his (maybe slightly exaggerated) sob story of how he’s “wanted to do music since he was little,” and “music is my whole world,” and topping it off with a little bit of “music saved my life, I wouldn’t be here without it”. He also included, what was in his opinion, one of his best works, just the right amount of balance between showing his skill and dissing anyone who dared question his talent and legitimacy.

So, to say he was surprised when he walked onto the property of the address he was told to appear at in his acceptance email and saw the giant flashing, glittery sign reading “The Gay Agenda”, was an understatement. He checked and double checked his phone but nope, he was in the right place. He tentatively approached the building, thinking maybe it was a shared recording space and the show he was _supposed_ to be in would be somewhere in the back. But as he was approaching the building, seeing the sign up closer, he stopped dead in his tracks. The sign looked weirdly familiar. He recognized the colors, the general shape, even the overload of glitter. When it dawned on him, he took out his phone slowly, dreading that it would confirm his suspicions. Sure enough, when he looked at the email one more time, right at the top, was a large, pink, glittery logo, clearly saying “The Gay Agenda”. _Fuck_. How could he have missed this? Searching back through his email history, he realized the logo had been on all the correspondence he had had with the studio, but he had simply never given the logo any attention.

Wracking his brain on what to do about the situation he found himself in, Yoongi quickly decided to just walk in, tell some secretary or PA or something that this was a giant misunderstanding and get the fuck out of there as soon as possible. Yup, that’s what he would do. Right now. The moment he was able to force himself to walk into the building. Which was….now.

When he finally decided that he looked like a crazy person, whispering to himself in the parking lot of a filming studio, Yoongi managed to actually make his body listen to him and walk into the studio.

It was surprising how little attention was paid to him. Right when he walked in, he almost knocked down a man carrying a clipboard and frantically yelling instructions into a headset. When he attempted to ask about who to talk to about his dilemma however, he was quickly waved off and left there to stand alone. Yoongi walked around a little more, trying to just find _someone_ to talk to, and was just about to just leave and just not show up to whatever this show was, when he stopped dead in his tracks for the second time that day.

Looking back, it seemed like a shitty, cheesy, teenage rom-com. It felt like time had slowed down. His breathing stopped when he saw this…this...angel. That was truly the only way to describe the boy (man?) standing in front of him. He seemed to be glowing, mysteriously being lit up from behind, making him look even more ethereal. (Yoongi realized later it was just a stage light and felt a bit stupid but hey, in the moment he didn’t question it for one second). The boy was [blonde](https://nl.pinterest.com/pin/739223726306611298/), had a small, fucking _adorable_ face, round cheeks, a small but strong stature and looked seriously out of this world.  His _very_ tight jeans showed off his extremely well-toned thighs, which was contrasted by the oversized hoodie he was [wearing](https://pa1.narvii.com/5949/a08463bbd2d01b8f75e9c01be5f2d0bd4785713b_hq.gif). Yoongi was speechless. He had never seen someone that beautiful. Sure, he was very open with his preferences, liked pretty much anyone but god damn, something about this creature in front of him made him feel like he had never felt before.

When he came back to his senses, he was staring into the expectant eyes of the new love of his life, who seemed like he had just asked him something. _Oh shit_.

“Uhh, sorry, what?” Yoongi said intelligently, facepalming inwardly.

The angel laughed. “I just asked if I could help you with something, you seemed a little lost there,” came the reply ( _fuck, fuck, fuck, he’s so cute_ ). His dazzling smile made his eyes almost disappear into half-moon crescents, his round cheeks bunching up. Yoongi felt a little faint, awkwardly leaning more into the wall to his right in an attempt to keep himself upright.

Five minutes ago, Yoongi was determined to tell the show-runners exactly what he thought and get out of there. But now…. Now was different. So, without him really giving his mouth permission to, Yoongi kind of just blurted out, “I’m here for the show.” _Great._

It wasn’t technically a lie. He was here for the show. It just wasn’t what he thought he had signed up for and definitely not something he would ever sign up for had he known, but the situation was completely different now. He doesn’t even know the name of the angel person before him yet, but Yoongi knows he would already die for him. Which…. _yikes_. He really needs to get a grip on himself.

The man once again smiled his million-watt smile.

“Oh, great! Some of the others are here already too. Let me take you to the green room so we can get you show ready! I’m Jimin, by the way, I’ll be on the show with you! If you have any questions or concerns or anything at all really, please don’t hesitate to hit me up!”

Yoongi was so entranced, he hadn’t even noticed that they had apparently walked to the green room while talking.

“Here you go! I’ll be off to get ready myself then. See you later, cutie,” Jimin said and left Yoongi in front of the closed door. It took Yoongi almost 10 seconds to process that Jimin had just called him _cutie_ and promptly had a mini break down.

When he managed to compose himself, he turned towards the door and with a quick thought of 'here we fucking go, I guess', pressed down the handle.

Ok, so don’t get Yoongi wrong, he is an out, proud, big-ass Bi, but this really wasn’t his scene.

Standing in the doorway, Yoongi just kind of gaped at the room in front of him. There were about 20 other people, presumably the other contestants, who seemed to be massively varied in ages, stature and personalities. Considering his social anxiety, this _realllllly_ didn’t seem to be his thing and for the 100 th time that day, he begins to question why he was still there and why he was doing this to himself. The thought of Jimin creeped back into the back of his mind and he just sighed before getting over himself, and walking in.

 

* * *

 

 

‘This day is really getting worse and worse,’ Yoongi thought to himself as he was sitting in the crash course that the contestants had to take before being quote “sent out there to do some damage”.

Once again, the only light at the end of the tunnel for Yoongi was that Jimin was the one who was leading the crash course. He had changed out of his causal outfit from earlier and was now wearing a [velvet blazer](https://www.google.com/search?q=jimin+golden+disk+awards+2017&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=sgll1bMEtzLS6M%253A%252CIuK1oNQVomzgOM%252C_&usg=AI4_-kReH06uxmL-L6c-vXTXcxTU6chR7g&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjr14q4_OHgAhWqMewKHd1ACFIQ9QEwAXoECAIQBg#imgrc=-JyoBkMarXO_8M:) with gold embellishments, an almost see-through white shirt underneath and another pair of sinfully tight black pants. He had a light dusting of eyeshadow on and his hair had been neatly styled. It had taken everything in Yoongi to not moan out loud when Jimin had walked into the room.

Yoongi had also had his makeup done, and someone had ruffled through his hair, but other than that he was still in the same clothes that he had arrived in. Suddenly he felt very [underdressed](https://nl.pinterest.com/pin/669699407060850006/) in his sweater jacket, white tank top and black jeans.

A very enthusiastic Jimin began by explaining all the rules and goals of the show to all the contestants once again, which Yoongi was very thankful for, since even though most other contestants looked like they knew all this already, probably being avid watchers of the show, Yoongi had no fucking clue what he was even supposed to do or competing for.

“So, now that we’ve got all the admin out of the way, lets talk strategy!” Jimin said with a large grin on his face.

“Obviously, everyone here will have a slightly different approach. We all have our preferred flirting methods and there is nothing wrong with that, I’m not here to tell you what to do. The point of this is to simply give you some ideas and starting points, should you run out of ideas or need some help getting your brain thinking. So obviously there’s the classics. A little smile, a little bit of beating your lashes, leaning over the counters more than strictly necessary, ‘accidentally bumping into someone’, you know the drill. One of my favourites will always be cheesy pick-up lines, if I’m honest. I am aware that they are not everyone’s cup of tea, and you should definitely try to get a feel for what kind of person they are before you drop one, but if they seem like they would be accepting, they can go a long way. They can be flattering or simply a brilliant ice breaker and they are always pretty funny”, Jimin said with a slight giggle.

Yoongi’s hand immediately shot into the air.

“Yes, Yoongi-hyung, may I call you hyung by the way?”

“Oh yeah of course. Hey Jimin, did it hurt when you feel from heaven? Because someone like you simply can’t be from this world,” he said with a smug smile. Jimin immediately laughed, seeming to put his entire body into the action which made Yoongi’s heart ache fondly.

“Something like that, exactly. You’re a fast learner,” Jimin said. Yoongi couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit disappointed at the fact that Jimin seemed to think he was only doing this for the sake of the course, and hadn’t actually meant what he said, but the light blush dusting Jimin’s cheeks as he continued giving more tips, made him keep a sliver of hope.

“Moving on, all of you must be wondering what today's shooting location will be. Well we are all going to be in a mall that has been completely fitted with hidden cameras and prepped to capture all your interactions. You can choose whether you want to be a clerk in a certain store or just be a customer, its completely up to you. If you choose to be a clerk, I would suggest though that you choose a store that has something to do with your interests, so it looks at least a little bit like you know what you are doing.”

“Will you also be there?” Yoongi asks.

“Yes, I will, I will work at the jewellery store right here in the corner”, Jimin replies while pointing to the store on the map of the mall he pulled up. Yoongi makes a mental note to remember exactly where it is, so he can ‘coincidentally’ walk by as many times as possible later on.

He also takes note of the record store a few stores down. He immediately fills out the form they were given, stating that he would like to work there, since it would make it easier to actually get people to talk to him if he looks to be working in a store, and music is basically his entire life, so it just feels right.

 

* * *

 

He ends up working in the record store with a barely legal kid called Jisung, who vaguely resembles a squirrel and has way too much energy for Yoongi to handle. Sure, the kids’ cool and seems to really know his stuff. They talk about producing and music for a really long time, since Jisung is interested in studying music production just like Yoongi. Yoongi can tell he has a talent for lyrics and he’s impressed by the rap that Jisung performs for him, but there’s only so much excited talking and yelling and gesturing Yoongi can take all at once.

He decides to go see what Jimin is up to and ‘randomly’ walk by the jewellery store a little bit down the hall.

“Hey Jisung, I’m gonna go out for a while, you good?” he asks Jisung, while already half way out of the door.

Jisung looks like a dear in headlights but replies with a short, stuttered “oh, okay hyung.”

He makes his way to the store and walking in, he is once again blown away by Jimin’s beauty. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to it. He approaches the counter and decides, for the sake of the show, and since there are other people too, to just pretend to be a customer.

“Hello, I’m looking to get some custom rings made, do you do that here?”, he asks a confused looking Jimin.

“Uh hi, yeah Sir we do those, what would you like?” Jimin thankfully plays along.

“Okay, so. Hear me out. I want 4 rings, one for each of these fingers (he points to his pointy to pinky fingers) right? And I want them like big ass rings with like glittery stones and like you know those rings rappers have? Like that. And I want each one to be a different letter and I want them to spell out SUGA. You think you can do something like that?”

Jimin looks confused as fuck and maybe even a little bit bewildered.

“Um ok, I think I understand what you mean, Sir. You are aware that this will probably cost quite a bit, yes?”

“Whatever it takes, I’m very dedicated to the idea.”

“If I may ask, why SUGA?”

Yoongi leans in, as if to let Jimin in on a secret and whispers, “because I’m sweet like sugar, babe” while winking horribly.

When he pulls away, Jimin is looking at him with the most done expression on his face that Yoongi has ever seen someone pull.

 

_The audience and panel, who have been watching their interaction from the studio, burst out laughing at the way Jimin looks into the camera like he’s on the office, rolling his eyes so far back, only the whites of his eyes are visible._

_“So, what do we know about Yoongi? He seems to be quite the rebel here, hitting on our lovely Jimin rather than literally anyone else,” Heechul says with amusement._

_“Well hyung, his application was rather unusual, I must say. Rather than write about why he wanted to be on our show, he wrote about his passion for music, how he’s been playing the piano since he was a kid and boasting about his, admittedly, excellent rapping skills,” Holland explained._

_“Wait, I’m confused, why was he accepted then? It sounds like he said nothing about this show and wanting to be on it at all?”, Key questioned._

_“Well, with his application, he also admitted a demo song called ‘Cypher pt.3’. The lyrics are well… suggestive of his sexuality. He mentions, and I quote ‘Like you all know my voice turns people on, whether it be men or women, my flexible tongue movements will send them to Hong Kong’. I guess recruitment saw potential?”_

_“Well my man Yoongi certainly has a lot of faith in his oral skills,” Key said with a way too suggestive wink. “Gotta hope Jimin goes for him or I might have to myself.”_

_“Now, now, hyung, please keep it in your pants,” Holland mediated, but failed to keep a grin off his face._

 

While Jimin is a little irritated by the fact that Yoongi is still hanging out with him and clearly not attempting to even look at anyone that isn’t Jimin, instead of actually doing what he is supposed to, he can’t help but feel a little flattered at the fact that this (really fucking hot) guy has chosen to say fuck it, and just hang out with him. He really tries to not encourage Yoongi any further, but as much as he doesn’t want it to, his face eventually betrays him and he starts smiling at the horribly cheesy pick-up lines Yoongi keeps throwing his way.

After he’s finally gotten a smile from Jimin, Yoongi doesn’t leave the jewellery store for the rest of the show, even though Jimin repeatedly tells him that this is _not_ what he’s supposed to do and he won't win if he stays. Yoongi honestly doesn’t give the slightest fuck about winning, considering this isn’t what he signed up for in the first place.

 

* * *

 

 

In the end, he gets bad marks from the judges, which was to be expected. He didn’t talk to a single person that wasn’t Jisung or Jimin the whole day and it didn’t even cross his mind to go look for a guy to chat up. On the one hand, it was definitely a consequence of the fact that he had not singed up for _this_ show in the first place. On the other hand, even if he could’ve been convinced to participate, after seeing Jimin, that idea would’ve been scrapped pretty quickly. There was just no way that Yoongi could go after anyone else, when someone like Jimin existed.

After the recording had finished, everyone was back in the green room, changing, taking off their makeup, generally relaxing after a whole day of filming. Yoongi was ready to get the fuck out of there, sick of having a camera shoved in his face all day and his social battery was running pretty low. He was about to say goodbye and bolt, when Jimin walked in again, now back in his jeans and hoodie that he had worn when Yoongi first met him. Sure, Jimin had looked downright ethereal in the velvet outfit he had worn during the taping, but Yoongi couldn’t help but prefer his casual look, messy hair and makeup free face.

“Hey peeps! I hope all of you had lots and lots of fun today! I totally understand if you just want to get home, but I thought I would extend the invitation anyways: me and a bunch of the panel and crew are going out for a drink at a club around the corner, so anyone who would like to, is welcome to come! Well, unless you’re underage, sorry kids!” Jimin said with an apologetic smile towards the younger contestants.

Yoongi _reallllllly_ wanted to go home and vegetate on his couch with a bag of chips and watch shitty reality tv reruns, but deep down he knew, as soon as Jimin invited them, that he would tag along. He hadn’t managed to convince Jimin to give him his phone number all day and he wasn’t about to let this perfect opportunity slip by him.

Which is how a tired, lowkey grumpy and Definitely-Not-Ready-for-This Yoongi ended up in a gay club on a Thursday night with a bunch of people he’d only met that day. He was beginning to regret it though, because as soon as they had arrived, he’d lost sight of Jimin who was being pulled along by some way too hyper kid called Taehyung (Yoongi thinks, he isn’t great with names).

He was about to turn and leave, when he saw him again. Now, up until this moment, Yoongi had believed that Jimin was some sort of angel, sent to him from heaven to make him see exactly what he was missing out on and what paradise would look like. Jimin had been this pure ray of light that was just too good to be true.

But in about 0.01 seconds, his outlook changed a whole 180 degrees. Now he was convinced Jimin was a demon, sent from hell to torture him in any way possible. Not only was he cute and adorable and clearly sculpted by the gods, but the way he was moving those hips and well-toned thighs in those tight pants was downright _sinful._  There was just no other way to describe it.

Yoongi’s breath caught in his throat when Jimin turned and made eye-contact with him. His hips never stopped moving and Jimin’s face curled into a lowkey predatory smirk, his eyes dropping half closed (which was about the most attractive thing Yoongi had ever seen in his entire life). Yoongi quickly realized that he had been caught staring and turned away, feeling his face rapidly heat up. He must look like a goddamn fool, caught with his mouth hanging wide open, red as a tomato. Way to be subtle.

He startled when he felt someone tap his shoulder. He spun his barstool around way too quickly and almost knocked over Jimin, who was now standing _way_ too close to him.

Jimin leaned in, so Yoongi could feel his hot breath on his ear, sending a shiver down his spine.

“I saw you looking, hyung. Did you like what you saw?”

Yoongi temporarily lost his ability to speak. He had flirted with Jimin all day, but the boy had only had shy giggles and small smiles for him in return. Jimin being so forward and flirty was throwing Yoongi for a loop.

“Y-yes,” he managed to stutter out.

“You know, hyung, this isn’t a look but don’t touch situation. I wouldn’t mind if you touched, too,” Jimin said and leaned away again to gage Yoongi’s reaction.

Yoongi spluttered for a second, trying to find an appropriate response. Jimin seemed to have mercy on him. He was holding out his hand, an invitation to the dance floor.

Now Yoongi was not a dancer. He was a rapper, a lyricist, a producer. He was excellent at all those things, but dancing? He looked like a drunk grandpa at a wedding.

But when Jimin held out his hand, Yoongi couldn’t deny him. He let himself be dragged onto the dance floor, and when Jimin turned around, pressed his (glorious) ass into his crotch, put Yoongi’s hands on his waits and started to rock his hips, Yoongi’s brain short circuited. He stood completely stiff for at least 20 seconds, before Jimin turned his head to look at him with a questioning gaze. He quickly broke out of his trance, tightened his grip on Jimin’s waist and began to move.

Yoongi didn’t ever think he’d get so into dancing, but he really started enjoying himself. Sure, it was probably due to the fact that he had the hottest man alive grinding, not so subtlety, on his dick but whatever. His hands had migrated under Jimin’s shirt at some point, touching the glorious abs that seemed to be there and Jimin’s hands were fisted into his hair, pulling slightly, not that he minded.

It seemed like Jimin had hit a breaking point, when he suddenly turned around forcefully, cupped Yoongi’s face with both his hands and smashed his lips against his. The instant heat that came over Yoongi was glorious and he couldn’t believe that Jimin was kissing him. He moaned into the kiss, pulled Jimin impossibly closer.

Later, when Yoongi was stroking Jimin’s bare back, who was lying with his head on his chest, drawing slow circles with his fingers, both of them a little out of breath, he thought back to how his day had started. This was certainly not the ending he had predicted, but he certainly wasn’t complaining one little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 whoooo
> 
> I hope y'all enjoyed this! The chapter is a little different from what the other chapters will be (ik ik I'm sorry, i'll be getting to the actual show soon) because they didn’t actually do much on the show itself in this one, but from now on it'll be the ship getting together on the show and not outside of it.
> 
> Also please bear with me in terms of my writing, I hope I learn and get better, the further along we get in this story. Any feedback is appreciated!!! You would help me out a lot!!
> 
> Once again, big shout out to [Kit](https://jisungshotfirst.tumblr.com/), thanks <33
> 
> Next update (hopefully) next Sunday.
> 
> Come yell at/with me on [tumblr](https://teacoffeeandwhatnot.tumblr.com/)
> 
> (Next week: Chanhun)


	3. Chanhun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So, our second contestant, let's see who this is,” said Holland, ruffling through a file. 
> 
> “Oh Sehun, 24, currently a dance student in his 3rd year. Applied to, I quote ‘get over this pathetic crush I’ve been harbouring for this dude at my uni for way too long’,” he read aloud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On the menu this week: Chanhun!
> 
> Please enjoy. As always, please leave plenty of comments, they pay my bills.

Honestly, Sehun felt a little bit pathetic. He’s had this massive crush on Chanyeol for about 3 years now, ever since the older had almost knocked him over at the orientation fair in his first year at university. Chanyeol had been walking backwards, animatedly talking to his friends, when he had tripped over his own feet and promptly toppled into Sehun. Sehun was ready to yell, already being on edge from having to adjust to the new environment and not really knowing anyone yet, but when he turned to face Chanyeol, he was startled into silence.

Chanyeol had been an odd mix of jock, with his tall stature and defined (so, so well defined) biceps and an overgrown puppy, with his soft face, big dumbo ears and doe eyes. Sehun was immediately infatuated with the older.

His infatuation grew into a full-on crush when he saw Chanyeol perform for the first time in the university’s talent competition. He had sung with his velvety smooth voice, whilst expertly playing the guitar, and Sehun was convinced he was In LoveTM.

But that was 3 years ago. Since then, Sehun had pined from a distance, treasuring every single little interaction he had with the older. Chanyeol had remembered him and sent him small smiles or waves whenever they crossed paths on campus, but they never had a proper conversation.

Sehun told himself that he would finally get over it and gather the nerve to just go up to Chanyeol and strike up a conversation with him, but chickened out every single time

So, when he saw the flyer to the show, it was pretty much a 'fuck it' decision. Maybe this would be the perfect opportunity for him to get over Chanyeol, maybe meet someone new and mayyyybe even win a bit of money, which, being a university student, couldn’t hurt. (He knew deep down though, that it would never be that easy to forget about Chanyeol.)

 

* * *

 

 

Sehun decided to work in the costume store during the show. One, he loved costumes and since it was close to Halloween, it would probably never boring. Two, he loved to judge people for their terrible costume choices.

He had met his manager, a dismissive, pudgy middle-aged man, who actually worked there, but, for some reason that was escaping Sehun, he agreed to let the show put someone in his store. The man really didn’t seem like he’d be someone who would put up with something like that and Sehun mentally noted to not piss the man off.

His co-workers were a lot nicer, a lot of them around his age, seeming to be students or high schoolers, working part time. He was glad that there were some nice people, considering he didn’t really know anything about the store and was glad that there would be someone to help. Overall, his job was pretty easy. Keep the racks and shelves looking clean, help customers find items when they needed help, and clean out the changing rooms, should someone leave items in it. Of course, Sehun was doing all of these things pretty half-heartedly, considering he was there for another reason.  

 

_“So, our second contestant, let’s see who this is,” said Holland, ruffling through a file._

_“Oh Sehun, 24, currently a dance student in his 3 rd year. Applied to, I quote ‘get over this pathetic crush I’ve been harbouring for this dude at my uni for way too long’,” he read aloud. _

_“Well sounds like Sehun is using this opportunity as a crush-be-gone mechanism,” Heechul mentioned._

_“Precisely.”_

_“Well guys, how do we think he’s going to do?,” Holland prompted._

_“Well, he chose a costume store, which can be quite good, since the atmosphere is very relaxed and there’s a good opportunity to have a laid back, funny conversation with someone, so I don’t think he will be lacking in that department,” said Taemin._

_Key chimed in, “I wish we could know what this crush of his looks like, because I want to see if he is going to go for someone that’s similar to him, or completely different.”_

_“I just hope some actual person his age will be there in the store at some point, because so far I’ve only seen parents or children, and I really hope he doesn’t hit on either, because that would just be….creepy”_

_“Yah, Daehwi, have some respect for your elders, I think he knows what he’s doing!” Heechul scolded._

_“Well let’s fucking hope so,” Daehwi mumbled under his breath._

 

He was bored. There was only so many snotty teenagers that he could help find the most ridiculous costumes for, some of which he had no idea what they even were (what the fuck was “bongocat”??). He had severely overestimated how many hot, grown men would be visiting the store, which looking back, was a stupid thought to begin with. The only adults that he had seen in the store so far, other than the staff, were tired parents accompanying their overly excitable children. Which….should’ve really been the realistic expectation Sehun should’ve set for himself.

He ended up loitering around the back of the store, trying to hide from his manager and not doing any real work. He even sneakily tried on some of the costumes, debating on whether to keep one on around the store, but realized that the boredom was making him slightly delusional and his [normal clothes](https://nl.pinterest.com/pin/815362707512106889/), which he had very carefully picked out that morning, and made sure to not clash with his [silver hair](https://nl.pinterest.com/pin/846676798665910763/), were definitely the better choice.

All of a sudden, his co-worker, Joy, a bright, tall, _beautiful_ girl (seriously, if Sehun had a _single_ straight bone in his body, he’d be all over that) walked by hastily, hissing “hottie in aisle 3, all yours” in his direction.

Him and Joy had bonded quickly that morning, both for shared distaste in their manager and the fact that Joy was super excited to have another gay person with her in the store, if only for one day. They had spent their whole morning break getting to know each other, and even if Sehun failed on the show today, at least he would walk away with a new, totally awesome friend.

Sehun perked up at the news of the “hottie” and made his way to the aisle…where he promptly turned around and hid behind the shelf. _Shit._ In the aisle, right in-front of the full-body, skin-tight ( _fuck)_ costumes, was Chanyeol, of all fucking people.  

Chanyeol being here was already bad enough, but on top of that, he had apparently died his hair over the weekend because, instead of the soft, fluffy brown hair he usually had, his hair was [bright red and styled off his face](https://nl.pinterest.com/pin/361062095107709315/?lp=true), which….. dear lord. It looked so fucking good. His [outfit ](https://c2.staticflickr.com/2/1935/31135587718_526a6fc0b5_o.jpg)didn’t help either. He was wearing a dark jean jacket over a flannel and t-shirt, paired with tight skinny jeans.

Sehun willed his breathing to calm down and wracked his brain on what to do. Obviously, this was the perfect opportunity to talk to Chanyeol, but the rules of the show were to find someone that he didn’t already know.

He eventually decided to walk up to Chanyeol.

“Sir, can I help you with something?”

When Chanyeol turned around and his face indicated that he recognized Sehun, the latter quickly lowered his voice and whispered, “Just act like you don’t know me, I’ll explain later!”

Chanyeol looked confused for a second, before apparently deciding to play along (thank god), since he continued, “Hi, yes, I’m looking for a costume for this Halloween party I’m going to.”

“Certainly, Sir, do you have anything specific in mind?”

“I was thinking Deadpool.”

“Good choice, Sir. If you would follow me, that would be in our superhero aisle.”

Chanyeol trailed after him, immediately tugging on Sehun’s heartstrings, since he looked like a lost puppy.

“Is this something along the lines of what you were thinking?”, Sehun asked, holding up a body suit printed with the Deadpool costume. Chanyeol’s eyes lit up, and he started nodding cutely.

“Ok, great. What size would you like so I can find it for you?”

“Uhhhh, I’m not sure to be honest,” Chanyeol replied, sheepishly.

“Can I ask how tall you are? Then I can estimate what size would fit you from there.”

“Oh, sure. I’m 6’5.” (Sehun groaned inwardly. Fuck.)

“Ok, let me just check.” He started rifling through the costumes before letting out a small “aha” and holding up two suits.

“So, I picked up two options, since you don’t know your size. I suggest you just try them both on and see which one fits best.”

Chanyeol nodded once again.

“The changing rooms are right over there. Would you like me to accompany you to the changing rooms, in case you need anything else?” (Sehun knew that he was laying it on a little thick, and that the store’s customer service was never this good, but he could honestly not care less at this point.)

“Oh yeah sure, Se-Sir.” Sehun grimaced at Chanyeol slipping up and almost calling him his name, but also felt a slight blush spreading on his cheeks at the cheeky grin Chanyeol sent his way.

Sehun made his way towards the changing rooms, held the curtain back on one of the stalls and handed Chanyeol the costumes while he entered.

“I’ll be waiting right over there,” Sehun pointed towards a counter basically across from Chanyeol’s booth, “so give me a shout if you need anything. “

Chanyeol gave the Ok and closed the curtain. Well, closed was an overstatement. Although he did pull the curtain across the rail, he didn’t pull it all the way and Sehun was still able to see his back through the slit. He had a small internal battle, debating whether he should let Chanyeol know, but ultimately decide to just not look….which proved very difficult about 0.2 seconds later when Chanyeol took his shirt off and Sehun had the exquisite view of his muscly back. Fuck, that man was well built. Sehun really, honestly, tried to tear away his gaze and stop ogling, but he couldn’t. I mean, let’s be honest, how could he? Here he was, with the perfect view of his shirtless crush of almost 4 year in from of him, and he was supposed to look away? Seems unrealistic.  

Apparently, Sehun had kind of zoned out for a moment, because all of a sudden, Chanyeol turned around to walk out with his [costume ](https://www.instagram.com/p/BXNwfialrcB/?hl=en&taken-by=real__pcy)on and Sehun was definitely caught staring. Immediately, he felt his face go bright red and he tried to clear his throat awkwardly.

Luckily Chanyeol only smirked at him, which didn’t really make the situation much better for Sehun, but at least he wasn’t mad or disgusted.

Sehun tried to slip into his professional store clerk persona again.

“How does it fit, Sir? Everything all right?”

“I don’t know, what do you think?”

Sehun had to really pull himself together to not blurt out anything embarrassing about how he wanted to climb Chanyeol like a tree right then and there, and how the tight costume make his arms look delicious, and many other, NSFW thoughts.  He eventually settled on, “Looks good to me.” Good one, Sehun.  

“Mhh, I don’t know, it seems a little loose in some areas. This is the bigger one, I’ll go try on the smaller one just to see.”

Sehun was honestly in pain. How was he supposed to survive seeing Chanyeol in an even tighter costume than the one he had already been wearing. The man was really just here to torture him. Sehun hoped the floor would open up to swallow him and just take him directly to hell, since that would be more merciful, but without avail.  

Sehun didn’t notice Chanyeol re-emerge out of the changing room due to his breakdown until he heard a throat being cleared and his head snapped up. He promptly choked on his own spit and was coughing up half a lung with tears streaming down his face, mortified at the fact that Chanyeol came rushing over to clap him on the back with a worried look on his face.

“Oh my god, are you ok? What happened?”

“No-nothing…. I just…uh… inhaled wrong…” Way to go Sehun, solid excuse.

He batted away Chanyeol’s hands, insisting he was fine. Chanyeol slowly moved back, but still adorned the worried look on his face.

“If you say so…”

“Ok, ok, I’m good now, sorry for that. How does this one fit, better than the other one?”

“Yeah a lot better, thank you,” Chanyeol turned to him once again, smiling his megawatt smile that made Sehun feel all warm inside.

Suddenly, it dawned on him. Being around Chanyeol had made him totally forget the point of the show. He was SUPPOSED to find someone to flirt with. Sure, it was risky, since he didn’t know if Chanyeol was going to respond in a good way, and he really didn’t want to ruin whatever small tiny good thing they had going, but then again, if it didn’t go well, he could always explain later and lie, saying it was all for the show.

“Well, if I may say so, it definitely extenuates all the right elements of your body,” he tried to say without feeling incredibly awkward about it. Now it was Chanyeol’s turn to turn beet red. He awkwardly laughed and looked extremely flustered.

Sehun thought fuck it and decided to just go for all in. Might as fucking well.

He walked over to Chanyeol, who was standing in front of a full body mirror just outside the changing rooms. He stood behind him, making eye contact with Chanyeol through the mirror. Slowly he started running his hands up and down Chanyeol’s (realllly well defined) arms.   

“Yeah, it makes your arms look really nice,” he whispered directly into Chanyeol’s ear in a sultry tone. Luckily, even though he still looked flustered, Chanyeol didn’t seem to pull away or look weirded out.

 

_“Ohhhhhh, my boy is finally stepping it up!”, Heechul screeched, “I was getting a little worried about him there. Hot muscly dork, I like his taste”._

_“He definitely chose well, I approve,” Key agreed._

 

Sehun slowly started to relax and become more confident, and he was very much enjoying that he was able to make Chanyeol look so flustered. It was cute.  

He stayed close to Chanyeol for another few seconds, making sure that Chanyeol definitely saw him rake his eyes down his entire body while biting his lip and keeping his mouth near his neck, so that he could feel the hot breath on his skin.

Sehun felt validated when he felt the small shiver run down Chanyeol’s body and his cheeks become even more dusty pink.

Eventually he stepped back. Chanyeol turned around to stare at him, eyes blown and mouth hanging slightly open.

Sehun ran his finger down the front of Chanyeol’s costume, across his chest.

“How about you get out of that costume, and I’ll treat you to a drink?”, Sehun asked.

“Uh…sure… what about your job?”

“Oh, they’ll understand that I can’t let this opportunity pass me by, don’t worry your pretty little head.”

He heard Chanyeol mumble a startled “pretty?” under his breath and luckily managed to suppress the little chuckle bubbling up.

“Wait, opportunity? What opportunity?”

Sehun invaded his space once again, placing his hands on each of Chanyeol’s shoulders and standing up on his tip toes, so he was able to whisper right into Chanyeol’s ear.

“To go on a date with the hottest guy I’ve ever seen and have had a crush on for like 3 years now.”

When he stepped back again, Chanyeol was once again staring at him with his mouth hanging open.

“Wait, you’ve had a cru-“, Sehun panicked and quickly put his hand over Chanyeol’s mouth to stop him from exposing the fact that they knew each other. Chanyeol squeaked in surprise.

Sehun got close again and hissed at him, “Shhh, don’t say that out loud! Let’s just get out of here and I’ll tell you why, I promise.”

Sehun looked into Chanyeol’s eyes, to make sure he understood. Chanyeol nodded and promptly licked Sehun’s hand, which made him pull back in disgust. Chanyeol chuckled and smirked at him again, which threw Sehun for a loop. He wasn’t ready for confident Chanyeol to be back, he didn’t know how to deal with that.

He breathed a breath he didn’t realized he’d been holding in when Chanyeol got back into the changing room, fortunately (unfortunately? Who knew) actually pulling the curtain completely closed this time.

Sehun slumped over the counter he was standing near, mumbling a quick, 'what the fuck am I doing?' under his breath.

He startled back upright when he heard the curtain pull back and awkwardly tried to make it look like he was casually leaning against the counter, which apparently didn’t work, considering the laugh Chanyeol let out when he saw him.

“Ok, but before we go, I do actually still want to buy this.”

“Ah yes, well that’s great, let me ring it up for you.”

Sehun walked to the till and rang up the costume for Chanyeol. He startled when he realized how much the costume was. Holy shit, he didn’t know it would be that expensive.

“Uh yes, that’ll be 300$.” Quieter, he said, “holy shit, are you sure you can afford that?”

In lieu of answering, Chanyeol simply smirked, whipped out his wallet and took out a black credit card. Holy shit.   

Sehun looked from the card to Chanyeol’s face, with wide eyes and his mouth hanging open. Ok, wow, he hadn’t known that Chanyeol was apparently filthy rich. Maybe he’ll even get a sugar daddy out of this whole experience. What a day.

He packed up the costume in a paper bag while Chanyeol was paying and set it on the counter. He then quickly looked for Joy, who was near the front of the store and definitely trying to look like she wasn’t eavesdropping, even though she definitely was. Sehun caught her eye and rolled his. She at least had the decency to look just a little bit embarrassed at being caught.

He waited for Chanyeol to pack away his wallet again, and then made his way to the entrance with him.

“Hey Joy, I’m gonna go take my break I’ll be back…at some point”, he yelled in her direction while trying to get past her as quick as possible, fearing she would say something embarrassing.

He really hoped that Chanyeol didn’t hear her “Yeah, my man! Go get some!!” as they were leaving the store. He threw up a middle finger over his shoulder for good measure.

As soon as they stepped out of the store, he pulled Chanyeol into a small hallway away from the main store pathway. He rummaged around the back of his shirt until he found the mic pack and switched it off.

He looked up to see a slightly bewildered look on Chanyeol’s face.

“Wait, why the fuck are you mic-ed? Oh my God, is this an undercover mission? Are you working with the police? Wait, what did I do? I’m not a criminal!”

Sehun was silent for a second, before he burst out laughing as Chanyeol became more and more panicked. He couldn’t stop and every time he looked at Chanyeol’s confused face he had to laugh more. Eventually, after about 5 minutes he managed to catch himself.

“No, dummy, I’m on a TV show! Oh my God, you really thought I was an undercover cop? This is gold,” Sehun explained through his laughs and while whipping his tears away. “it’s an undercover kind of TV show, that’s why the mic was hidden.”

“Well excuse me for assuming, what else was I supposed to think?”

“Are you a criminal?”

“No, of course not, what the fuck Sehun?”

“Well then why on earth would you assume that I was a cop??”

“What the hell was I supposed to think? You tell me to act like you don’t know me and then you pull me into some sketchy hallway and then you pull out a fucking secret wire? Like literally what other conclusion was I supposed to arrive at??? What TV show is this for anyways?”

Now it was Sehun’s turn to look embarrassed, “It doesn’t really matter.”

Chanyeol immediately had an evil grin on his face. “Well now I definitely want to know”

“It’s really not that important lets just g-“

“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me”

Sehun looked to see if he could get away, but apparently Chanyeol had foreseen what he was trying to do and stood between Sehun and the way back to the main part of the shopping centre. There was no way Sehun would be able to get passed Chanyeol, considering he was taller and definitely stronger than him.

Sehun slumped his shoulders and looked the floor.

“Fine,” he mumbled. “It’s called ‘The Gay Agenda’.”

“The what?”

“The Gay Agenda,” Sehun repeated, possibly even quieter than before.

“I really need you to speak up.”

Sehun finally accepted his fate.

“Fine, ok? Its called ‘The Gay Agenda’ and I was supposed to find some guy and seduce him, but then you walked in and I get if you’re not into it and I’m sorry and if you never want to talk to me again I totally unders-“

His heated rant was suddenly cut off by him being pushed against the wall and warm lips being pressed to his own.

His eyes went wide, and he was frozen in shock for a second before he realized holy shit, Chanyeol was kissing him. This was actually happening. He quickly relaxed into the kiss, closed his eyes and reciprocated.

He didn’t know for how long they ended up kissing. At some point his arms snaked around Chanyeol’s neck as Chanyeol pulled him closer by his waist. He licked across Chanyeol’s bottom lip, asking for entry and when their tongues met, it was like he was dunked into a hot tub. His entire body felt warm and like this was the best thing he had ever done in his entire life. He couldn’t help but moan into the kiss.

Chanyeol eventually pulled back and put his forehead against Sehun’s. They were both breathing hard, but neither let go.

“So, uh, I take it you didn’t mind?” Sehun asked awkwardly, breaking the silence.

Chanyeol let out a laugh, stroking his lower back, his arms still around Sehun’s middle.

“No, you idiot, I’ve liked you for like 3 years, this is like a dream come true for me.”

“3 years?” Sehun was shocked.

“Yeah, ever since I bumped into you at that fair. I’d always hoped that you would come up and talk to me when we saw each other on campus, because I sure as hell wasn’t going to do it. I’m so fucking awkward.”

“SERIOUSLY? I’d always hoped that you would come talk to me!! I never did because I thought you didn’t like me and were just too nice to not say hi when you saw me!”

Chanyeol chuckled, pecking Sehun on the lips again.

“We’re both idiots, I guess.”

Sehun couldn’t help but agree. He pulled Chanyeol into another kiss, still not believing that this was actually happening. He could do this forever.

“So, what about that drink you said you’d buy me?” Chanyeol eventually asked, when both their lips were swollen and red, and they couldn’t continue because they were getting dangerously close to “not public appropriate” territory.

Sehun was still kind of disoriented and out of breath. “What?”

“Well you said earlier that you would buy me a drink, so I want that drink now. I guess you could say that I’m thirsty.” Sehun smacked him in the chest lightly at the terrible pun and wink, but still slid his hand into Chanyeol’s and made his way back to the stores.

He couldn’t believe that he had started the day, determined to get over Chanyeol and ended up, hand in hand with him, after probably the best make-out session he had had in his entire life. He couldn’t believe his luck.

 

* * *

 

“You know, I really enjoyed it when you called me Sir earlier.”  
“Oh my God, we’re not even together yet and I’m breaking up with you.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Week 3 already, oof!
> 
> Finally the first, real in-the-show chapter. I hope you enjoyed what I did with this ship! 
> 
> If you have any ship that you would like to see, obviously other than the ones that are tagged already (and obviously with people that i havent already tagged because....that wouldnt work), please let me know and i will try to fit them in. 
> 
> (Also, I was thinking of maybe adding extra, NSFW chapters, like add-ons, so not in the actual story. Let me know if you would be interested. Fair warning though, I've never written smut before so idk how good it would be.)
> 
> Any feedback is appreciated!!! You would help me out a lot!!
> 
> Once again, big shout out to [Kit](https://jisungshotfirst.tumblr.com/) for beta-ing, thanks!
> 
> Next update (hopefully) next Sunday.
> 
> Come yell at/with me on [tumblr](https://teacoffeeandwhatnot.tumblr.com/)
> 
> (Next week: Luwoo)


	4. Luwoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I have to come clean, I’ve just been playing dumb this whole time to try and flirt with you, but that obviously didn’t work and I look like an absolute idiot, so would it be possible that we could just start over and pretend this whole mess didn’t happen?” He put on his best smile to try and convince Lucas that he wasn’t a moron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fighting haeyadwae!
> 
> Luwoo taking over!
> 
> Please leave comments, they'll put my future dogs through college.

Jungwoo tried really hard not to laugh at the open mouthed, shocked expressions on his friend’s faces. This was even more amusing than he had anticipated it to be.

“Wait, what?” Jaehyun broke the silence.

“You heard me.”

“Ok, but like….I’m so confused?” Johnny finally spoke up.

“What’s there not to get? I signed up for a game show.”

“Yes, see, that’s the part I get. What I _don’t_ get is why you signed up for a game show where you have to”, Johnny lowered his voice, leaned in and whispered, “ _seduce_ someone!”

“Again, what’s there not to get? It’s pretty straightforward.”

“Straightforward? Ok, one: literally _nothing_ straight about this. Two: why the _fuck_ would you sign up for something like this? You’re like…the epitome of pure.”

Jungwoo actually snorted out loud at this.

“Pure? Seriously, sometimes its like you people aren’t even my friends. That’s just some weird picture of me that you’ve all convinced yourself of. I’m nothing like what you think of me. Like, for example, how many people have I slept with in the last month?”

Johnny gawked at him. “You slept with people lately? How? When? Is this a trick question? Is it no-one? Please say its no-one.”

Jungwoo scoffed. “I slept with 5 people, hyung, because, as opposed to all your introverted asses, I go partying and turns out, when you leave the house, you meet people. Confusing concept, I know.”

He pointedly ignored the offended looks on his friend’s faces. “You all seem to think I’m this innocent being, just because I’m ‘soft’ and have manners.”

“Wait, did you sign up for this just to prove a point? Because you really don’t have to do that, we believe you, you don’t have to go to such an extreme.”

“Oh my fucking God.” Jungwoo sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. “I am not doing this just to prove a point. Believe it or not, I actually want to do this, so please stop trying to change my mind, because it won’t work.”

He received skeptical looks from his friends, and was about to leave, slightly annoyed.

Before he could though, Taeyong patted his arm reassuringly and said, “Ok, we believe you. If you really want to do this, then we’ll support you!”

Jungwoo sighed a breath of relief. He was glad that they finally understood

“I really fucking hope you use protection though. Be a hoe but be a smart hoe.”

Actually, never mind, he would sell them to Satan for one corn chip. _And he didn’t even like corn chips._

 

* * *

 

 

Although he wasn’t exactly nervous, he was still glad to see a familiar face in Jaemin, a junior from his university, whom he knew because Jaemin was part of the dance crew that performed at the winter talent show last Christmas. They weren’t exactly friends or on talking terms, but it still helped.

He decided that he wouldn’t ‘work’ in a shop, not wanting to be tied down, and instead decided to just pose as a regular shopper. He figured he could cover more ground this way, and, if in worst case scenario, he tried flirting with someone and it went horribly wrong, he could easily make a break for it. He also didn’t have to answer to anyone which was refreshing, and not something he dealt with well anyways.

Now, Jungwoo wasn’t vain, but he also wasn’t blind. He knew that he looked good, and fully intended on exploiting that. He made sure his recently [dyed orange hair](https://nl.pinterest.com/pin/695806211156253348/) was at maximum floofiness that would make anyone itch to run their fingers through it, put on an [over-sized shirt and sweater](https://youtu.be/9YbY3JD6Nkc?t=308) that gave him the ultimate soft sweater paw look, and balanced that out with some tight white ripped jeans.

To begin with, he just walked around aimlessly, looking into stores that interested him, lowkey forgetting he was there for a specific reason. He caught himself though, and realized he need a game plan. he decided that he would visit every store, floor-wise and see if he could find anyone that interested him. Of course, he had to seem inconspicuous and couldn’t just walk out of a store if there wasn’t anyone good there, so it took quite some time.

He had made it halfway through the second floor, when he came across a sports shop. He went in, with mildly more interest than the shops before, and realized that he actually needed new shin guards for practice since his were on their way to destruction.

He walked straight to the soccer section, not even bothering to look around for anyone in the store, not thinking that there would be anyone anyways. He was on his tiptoes, trying to reach the shelf with the shin guards in his size that were just out of reach, when he heard someone clear their throat behind him.

Startled, he spun around. He came face to face with a brick wall in form of a toned chest and marveled at it for a second before snapping his eyes up to look the person in the face.

“Hi, can I help you in any way?”

Holy shit. For a second, it was like Jungwoo’s brain had a small system failure. In front of him was literally the epitome of everything he dreamed about at night. This dude was slightly taller than him, had the most handsome face that Jungwoo had ever seen in his entire life,[ fluffy light brown](https://weheartit.com/entry/309834428) combed back hair, and had a beaming smile on his face. _Fuck, he was cute._

He scrambled for something to say, something that would keep this dude talking to him, preferably forever.

“Uh, yeah, hi…. I actually need help… yeah. So I don’t really do sports, and I can’t decide what would be a good one for me to start with, since I want to get healthier so yeah….. any suggestions?”

….what was he thinking? He internally cursed himself for coming up with literally the worst lie ever, especially considering he was at university _on a soccer scholarship._ But now he was stuck with this stupid lie, and God help him, he was going to stick to it.

To his confusion, the guy in front of him let out a laugh almost like a scoff, like he was making fun of Jungwoo. He tilted his head to the side, and the guy wiped the smirk off his face and turned serious.

“Ok, Sir, well what options have you considered?”

“Uh, I don’t really know, since I don’t really know how any sport works, so I don’t know what I will enjoy, I guess.” God he was just making this worse and worse.

Again, the shop clerk gave him a strangely knowing look, but Jungwoo held fast in his lie, hoping the more confident he was in it, the more believable it would be.

“Um, ok well, you’re kinda tall so maybe basketball?”

“Is that the one that’s basically the extreme version of ‘don’t let the balloon touch the floor’ with a net in the middle?” he hated himself for even asking it, he’d been on the volleyball team in high school.

It made the employee laugh though, which was a win in his book.

“No, you’re thinking of volleyball, which, come to think of it, you might be good at it.” Quieter, under his breath, he added, “you have the figure for it.” What was that supposed to mean?

The cute clerk proceeded to give him a basic run down of how basketball worked. Jungwoo tried not to wince and correct him, when he explain the rebound slightly wrong, which would totally out him and definitely weird out the employee, like he had come to the store just to test their knowledge or something.

“As much as I like playing with balls, maybe something else?”

_Back in the studio, Heechul spat out his drink and Key nearly died as his snort turned into him coughing so hard his eyes started watering. Jin whooped and cheered for the pun and the flirting while Namjoon looked upon him with the weirdest mix of regretting all his life choices and loving adoration._

The store clerk looked slightly taken aback and was clearly looking for something to say when:

“Lucas! Can you please ring this lady up for a second, my hands are kinda full,” The other employee yelled from the back, his hands loaded with shoe boxes.

‘Lucas’ quickly excused himself with a small “I’ll be right back”. Jungwoo let out a long sigh. What the fuck was he doing? He seriously considered just running out of the store and never coming back for a second, which he would’ve definitely already done, if Lucas wasn’t so fucking hot. Even his name was cute. Jungwoo hated his life sometimes.

At least Lucas having to leave for a second gave Jungwoo the opportunity for a little breather and the time to come up with something, so he wouldn’t have to scramble for something to say and make it up on the spot. The more he thought about it though, the more ridiculous this whole thing became in his mind.

He was wracking his brain so hard, he hadn’t even noticed that Lucas had returned.

“So, I was thinking, what about soccer?” Jungwoo startled when he heard Lucas talk really close to his ear.

He spun around and saw that Lucas was once again sporting his shit eating grin.

Jungwoo was at a loss of words. It would be really hard to ask any stupid questions about football, something his entire life basically revolved around at this point.

“I…um….I… Ok, you know what, this is getting stupid,” Jungwoo mumbled under his breath. He inhaled loudly before turning to look Lucas in the eye.

“I have to come clean, I’ve just been playing dumb this whole time to try and flirt with you, but that obviously didn’t work and I look like an absolute idiot, so would it be possible that we could just start over and pretend this whole mess didn’t happen?” He put on his best smile to try and convince Lucas that he wasn’t a moron.

To his utter dismay, Lucas looked like he was trying really hard to hold in his laughter before giving up and bursting out in loud giggles. Jungwoo pouted. Like sure, he looked like an idiot, but being straight up laughed at still hurt. Lucas finally seemed to calm down, straightening up from where he had put his hands on his knees when laughing too hard.

“Oh my God, Jungwoo, I was wondering when you would stop with the shtick.”

He froze. Lucas had just called him by his name.

“Wait, how the fuck do you know my name?? I never told you!”

“I go to the same uni as you, dumbass. I’ve been to one of your games, you know, the ones where you’re the main fucking player?”

Jungwoo wanted to die. This has got the be the most humiliated he had ever felt in his entire life. There was no doubt he was beet red. He couldn’t look Lucas in the eye and hid his face in his hands.

“Oh my fucking God. Oh my God. This is the worst. I’m going to die. That’s it, I’m going home and never leaving my room again. I’m going to become a hermit. Maybe adopt 2 or 3 cats. Wait no, I’m allergic. Maybe a hamster.” He mumbled to himself.

He was about to turn to leave, when he felt someone pry his hands away from his face. He kept his eyes shut, not wanting to face Lucas, who was probably going to look at him like he was the biggest idiot, and honestly? He was not ready for that.

“Jungwoo,” Lucas called quietly. Jungwoo didn’t move, keeping his head bowed and his eyes tightly shut.

“Jungwoo, look at me.” Lucas let go of one of his hands and tilted Jungwoo’s chin up. He reluctantly opened his eyes, but still refused to look in Lucas’ general direction.

“Oh, come on, look at me. Please?” Jungwoo couldn’t resist the cute tone and the puppy eyes he could feel Lucas sending his way.

The smile Lucas had on his face when Jungwoo finally turned to him was enough to make his insides feel gooey.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I was actually quite enjoying it, I didn’t think you’d keep going for so long,” Lucas said with an amused tone.

Jungwoo didn’t say anything, but could feel his cheeks heating up again, which meant that Lucas could probably feel it too, since the hand on his chin had moved to cup his cheek.

“My break starts in 5 minutes, how about I treat you to a cold drink? You look like you need it.”

He agreed and proceeded to wait on a bench in front of the store while Lucas quickly let his co-worker know and clock out.

Although this definitely wasn’t the smoothest thing he had ever done, and he would definitely not be able to ever live this down, the smile on Lucas’ face when he walked towards Jungwoo and the hand he extended towards him to hold, made it all worth it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I am so sorry for the late upload. Life just got in the way and well...yeah.
> 
> Also I am aware this isn’t the best chapter, for some reason I really struggled with this one and idk why so yeah pls excuse how bad this is, I promise the best one will be better
> 
> As always, any feedback is appreciated!!! You would help me out a lot!!
> 
> Next update (hopefully) next Sunday.
> 
> Come yell at/with me on [tumblr](https://teacoffeeandwhatnot.tumblr.com/)
> 
> (Next week: Jren)


	5. Jren

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *curtain falls* Jren!
> 
> Please give me feedback and leave a comment, they strengthen my bones.

_“Our next contestant is Choi M-“_

_“Holy shit, is that Minki?!” Jeonghan interrupts Holland, jumping out of his seat to get a better look at the screen in front of them._

_“Uhh, yes, do you know him?” Holland questions._

_“Yeah, shit, he’s my cousin. I don’t know why I didn’t think of him for this show, he’s like a lover of all things gay. Also, he already works here so it’s perfect.”_

_“Well then, I guess I can save myself the introduction,” Holland laughs. “Do you happen to know what his type is?”_

_“Oh yeah, for sure. He’s into like super nerdy guys which is kind of ironic because, even though he works in the freaking comic book store, he could not be less interested in them.”_

_“Ah, well then it should be easy to find someone that’s his type then, I guess. Let’s see how he gets on.”_

 

* * *

 

 

He knows he should really be spending his money on better things as a 23-year-old, but Jonghyun can’t help himself, so he finds himself on the bus for his weekly visit to the comic book store. It also has nothing to do with the pretty shop clerk whom he has successfully avoided talking to for weeks now, nope. Nothing at all. He totally doesn’t spend half his time there staring at him, and not the comic books. Definitely not.

 

Ever since the new guy has started working there, his visits to the store have become significantly more nerve wracking and he finds his hands sweating a worrying amount every time he pushes the door open. He really needs to get his shit together.

 

He walks straight to the Haikyu section, deliberately not looking towards the counter, where he knows the beautiful boy is. He knows his name is Minki, having glanced at his name tag out of the corner of his eye last time, when he had been busy ringing up another costumer.

 

Even though he only glanced in his direction for about half a second through the glass door before entering, he is still hyper-aware of Minki, slouching over the counter, looking bored out his mind, sucking on a goddamn lollipop. He also belatedly realizes that Minki seems to be the only employee here, which means that, if he wants to buy something, he will inevitably have to talk to him. Which is generally a good thing, forcing him to finally have a conversation, but he’s also scared shitless. He knows he gets all stuttery and awkward when faced with pretty people he may or may not have a small (massive) crush on, so there is probably a high chance he’s going to embarrass himself. For a second he considers just not buying anything and high tailing it out of the store, before he realizes how stupid that is. He gives himself a short mental pep-talk before finally deciding to get his shit together, picks up the book he wants and makes his way towards the counter. Previously he had always waited, sometimes agonizingly long, until Minki was busy or went on break and his co-worker took over, before he went to the counter, as to avoid the situation he was in now.

 

He placed his book on the counter, finally managed to look up and made direct eye contact with Minki for the first time. He was frozen for a minute, lost in the man’s eyes before he was shaken out of his stupor.

“Only this then?” Minki asked.

 

“Uh, y-yeah.” Jonghyun mentally cursed at himself for the little stutter and cleared his throat. “Just this one today,” he managed, trying to sound a little more confident and not like his legs were about to give in any second.

“So have you finally decided to stop avoiding me then?” Jonghyun’s head snapped up from where he lowered it again, staring at Minki with a panicked expression, who was smirking at him with a knowing smile.

“What? I was not- I’m not- I didn’t…,” he stuttered, trying to come up with a reasonable explanation.

“Dude, literally every time you’re here you stare holes into the side of my head but you never come up to the counter when I’m here and always wait till Minhyun is at the counter or I’m busy. I feel a little bit offended to be honest, what do you have against me? I don’t bite.”

Minki says all of this with a smirk on his face, so Jonghyun knows he isn’t mad, (and mortifyingly probably knows why Jonghyun was staring) but he can’t help but feel faint.

“I wasn’t staring at you.” Minki cocks his head, giving him a ‘you’ve got to be shitting me’ expression. “I just admire those posters behind the counter.”

“Sure you do, my dude, sure you do.” Jonghyun doesn’t think his face will ever return to its natural colour, destined to stay permanently crimson at this point. He realizes that Minki is almost done ringing up his book and with that his time actually talking to him will be over soon. Scrambling to keep the conversation going, he asks, “Uh, so I’ve been looking for a new series, preferably something similar to Haikyu, so like sports and rivalries, etc. do you have any recommendations?”

Minki shrugs, “No idea, dude, I’ve never read a manga in my life. I can ask my colleague though and let you know?”

Jonghyun belatedly realizes his mouth is hanging open in shock and quickly closes it.

“What do you mean you’ve never read one, you work in a comic book store?”

“Yeah, because my cousin, whether he admits it or not, is a sucker who would do anything for me, and he knows the owner so he got me the job. I’m a broke college student, I take what I can get. ”

 

_“Fucking brat,” Jeonghan mumbles under his breath._

 

Up until this point, Jonghyun had been convinced that Minki was perfect and most definitely the love of his life, but this could not be overlooked. This was a major character flaw that needed to be corrected immediately.

“Ok, but like that’s unacceptable. I’m sorry, but you have no choice, you have to be educated. I will sacrifice my precious time and be your teacher, out of the goodness of my heart.”

(Minki honestly couldn’t believe that it could’ve gone any better. Whether he knew it or not, the cute customer had done his whole job for him, and he didn’t even need to come up with some bullshit excuse to spend more time with him. He was going to win, for sure.)

“I’ll let you educate me under two conditions.”

“Ok? And those would be?”

“One, we go find a café and have a drink while you tell me all about your little… books.”

Jonghyun made a face. For one at the comment about his ‘little books’ and secondly out of confusion. Wouldn’t it make more sense for him to educate Minki in the comic book store, so he could provide examples?

“Uh sure I guess, I mean here would be better, but if you want. And the second one?”

“You have to tell me your name,” Minki grinned. “So far I’ve only been calling you Onibugi in my head.”

Once again, Jonghyun felt his face heat up. Minki had been calling him a nickname in his head? For how long? Did this mean that he would also think about him? This was lowkey too much information for him to handle all at once.

“O-onibugi? Why?”

“Cuz you kinda look like one, don’t you think?” Minki squished his cheek and Jonghyun was ready to die then and there.

 

* * *

 

 

They decided to go to a little ice cream parlour on the second floor of the mall, since Minki said he was craving a milkshake, and who was Jonghyun to deny him. The entire 3 minute walk there, Jonghyun could help but sneak glances at Minki’s side profile. His long hair swished gracefully back and forth as he was walking and Jonghyun really had to fight every nerve in his body to not give into his urge to run his fingers through it and see how soft it really was. The first time Jonghyun had seen Minki, he had thought that he was a girl, quickly proven wrong when Minki had called out to his co-worker in a voice too deep for a girl and called him hyung. Now, Jonghyun had never really thought about his sexuality in depth, so he probably would’ve fallen in love with Minki no matter if he was a girl or a boy, but he was kind of relieved that Minki had been a boy, since in his opinion, girls are even more terrifying to talk to than guys. Or so he had thought. Minki seemed intimidating no matter what, hence the long time it took him to start talking to him.

Arriving at the café, they quickly found a small table for two in the corner and scanned the menu.

“You want to share a milkshake?” Minki asked.

Considering Jonghyun could barely get through a conversation with him, he doubted he would survive sharing a drink with the other.

“Uh, no, I’m good, you get your own drink. I’ll pay.”

“Aww Jonghyunnie, that’s not what I meant, but thanks! So generous.”

The obvious flirting that Minki sends his way completely flying over his head, Jonghyun launches into a speech about Haikyu as soon as they get their drinks.

“Ok so, I don’t know where to begin. Let me just tell you the plot first, I think that’ll help you understand how awesome it is. So basically it’s about this guy who joins the volleyball team of this formerly prestigious high school and he’s like obsessed with this other player who is like the star player of this team and was basically like a jump god for them, so he trains all the time to try and become like him. He ends up…” Jonghyun trails off when he looks up and realizes that Minki doesn’t seem to be listening to him at all, but is rather just staring at his mouth. Self-consciously he rubs over his lips, thinking he might’ve gotten some of his milkshake somewhere on his face.

“Minki, are you even listening to me?”

“Huh? Oh yeah, sure I am.”

Jonghyun isn’t completely convinced, but continues trying to convince Minki that comics are the best thing in this world and that he is missing out.

“Ok well he ends up clashing really hard with this setter – how much do you know about volleyball by the way? Actually it doesn’t really matter – so anyways he clashes with this setter is also like a really good player so everyone calls him king, but he’s more like a tyrant, I guess? And yeah –“ Suddenly, there are lips on his. He was so engrossed in his speech he hadn’t realized that Minki had gotten closer, lifted his chin up and just planted one on him.

It was over way too quickly, Jonghyun hadn’t even closed his eyes and he just ended up stupidly blinking at Minki when he pulled back, with his mouth slightly open.

All of a sudden, all the pieces in his head seem to align. Holy shit, Minki had been flirting with him this entire time.

“Holy shit, you were flirting with me this entire time.”

Minki let out a loud laugh. “I’m glad you finally caught on, I thought I couldn’t make it more obvious. I mean I flat out told you I have zero interest in comics and yet I still listened to you ramble for like an hour. I felt like I had to help you along a little bit.”

Jonghyun scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “Yeah sorry, I get really into it when I talk about comics… also like… you’re beautiful? I thought you’d never go for someone like me. I mean, you could have anyone.”

“Not go for someone like you? What, you mean a cute, nerdy, hot guy with a deep voice? How the fuck could I not go for you?”

Before he could blush and stutter some more, Minki leaned in again and this time Jonghyun was prepared. He managed to close his eyes, kiss back and even cup the side of Minki’s face. He couldn’t believe that this was happened and inwardly cursed at himself for not talking to the cute clerk earlier.

 

* * *

 

 

Later, when they’re walking back to the comic book store hand in hand, Minki’s phone goes off.

“Oh hey Jeonghan, how are you?” “My cousin,” he mouths in Jonghyun’s direction.

“Sooooooooooooooo?”

“So, what, Jeonghan?”

“Soooo, does it live up to all your day dreams and on a scale of 1-10, how good of a kisser is Jonghyun?”

“WAIT, WHAT? HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5, my dudes!
> 
> I didnt put any links to appearance in this one but i basically imagined them looking like [this](https://66.media.tumblr.com/d3b2e82fe9cbeefe5c4cada1974c2367/tumblr_omv6uzTVWT1uyg0a3o1_1280.jpg) / [this](https://www.google.nl/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2F8%2F88%2FNuest_2016.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FNU%2527EST&docid=r8MQjjNbd_D65M&tbnid=6w7F5uiJvVV6NM%3A&vet=10ahUKEwixyrbDmd7eAhVIalAKHWXzC2gQMwiBASghMCE..i&w=1000&h=555&bih=626&biw=1366&q=nu%27est%20overcome&ved=0ahUKEwixyrbDmd7eAhVIalAKHWXzC2gQMwiBASghMCE&iact=mrc&uact=8). Can you tell I want Minki to grow out his hair again? it already looks longer in the new teaser pics and i swear to you i squealed when i saw them
> 
> Arguably this is one of my favs, solely cuz jr is my ult and so jren is kind of my ult ship too.
> 
> Also will I ever get over [how](http://choiren.co.vu/post/158741013911/things-to-like-about-jr) [cute](http://wonhosemehyungwonuke.tumblr.com/post/144558302100) [jren](https://movedtomrsstadlersaysbeeasy.tumblr.com/post/161949341431/they-actually-kissed-through-the-flag) [are](http://utamun.co.vu/post/80485749699/i-need-oxygen-%E3%83%8Et%D0%B4t%E3%83%8E%E5%BD%A1)? [Answer](https://kpopehell.tumblr.com/post/172241586859/my-ship-list-has-been-destroyed) is [no](http://nu-blessed.tumblr.com/post/175681343594/in-which-ren-finally-succeeds-in-making-jr-dance).
> 
> EDIT: CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING [POWER COUPLE](https://66.media.tumblr.com/d68096af498f92728bcbd2328af1c03b/tumblr_pihzojY7z01wdkkaxo1_1280.jpg)  
> VIBES THESE TEASER PICS GIVE OFF?? IM D E A D 
> 
> As you can see, I switched it up a lil and wrote it from the perspective of the one not doing the show, let me know how you liked that and if I should do it again in the upcoming chapters. I’m already thinking of doing it for one other couple but idk
> 
> Disclaimer: I know absolutely nothing about haikyu, I basically wrote down the summary my friend gave me so yeah, don’t come for me if its wrong. 
> 
> As always, any feedback is appreciated!!! You would help me out a lot!!
> 
> Next update (hopefully) next Sunday.
> 
> Come yell at/with me on [tumblr](https://teacoffeeandwhatnot.tumblr.com)
> 
> (Next week: Mostly likely Changki, but could change, so no promises)


End file.
